The words ‘I’m really tired’ are often met with the response ‘Me too, I couldn’t sleep last night’ or ‘Me too, I had a really busy weekend.’
Saying how tired I am sounds really pathetic, like I just need an early night and to pull myself together. But the tiredness I have experienced with MS is like no tiredness I have ever experienced, ever before.
You know when you have flu and your arms and legs ache and feel so heavy that it’s like you’re dragging around lead weights with you … well MS tiredness is a lot like that. Like trudging through mud or walking through the water in a swimming pool. Everything requires so much more effort than it ought to.
It isn’t a sleepy head tiredness but a physical one that seeps up my limbs like water into a sponge.
The problem is, I don’t really have time to be tired. My job isn’t the sort of job that makes allowances when you’re not on top form – it carries on regardless, like a tank over rough ground, crushing everything in it’s path. And if you can’t keep one step ahead of the tank then you get squished.
Plus, there’s a lot more to me than my job. I’m always out and about doing something. I’m a bit of a party girl to be honest, after all it would be such a shame to let all those shoes go to waste … I’m lucky and have lots of lovely friends that I spend time with. I like to frequent many of Manchester’s finest restaurants and bars 😉 – in fact one of my friends refers to me as a ‘Manchester tour guide’. I enjoy fundraising and working with the Birdhouse Fund – a Manchester women’s charity. I go to the gym. I’ve just started circuit training. I go running. I like doing courses and learning new (non law!) things. Occasionally I even try to fit in a bit of time with Tom!
I can easily fill every evening and weekend …. but then again I love it that way. I can’t sit still.
And so I seem to have a constant battle with myself when it is suggested that I ‘rest’ or ‘take it easy’. That seems like a sign of weakness to me … an admission of defeat. I like to make the most of things and the uncertain, unpredictable nature of MS has made me try to do this even more. And if I am one thing, it’s stubbon. I don’t give up easily. And I certainly won’t be giving in to MS easily.
Problem is, I am tired of being tired.
That said, I’m not adverse to a little ‘tweak’ here and there. After all the odd early night and pampering session never hurt anyone.
And this is where the acupuncture comes in … I don’t know how, I don’t know why. But I am sure it’s working. Working at giving me more energy and making me feel less tired. I have now had four sessions over four weeks and I feel better than I have done in quite some time which can only be a good thing.
And we know what more energy means … fitting more in 🙂