I fear that my hot-pant-wearing days may be over. Not that I make a habit of wearing skimpy shorts, having hit the big 3-0 on the curvier side of things … but should the desire suddenly overtake me, it would’t be a good idea.
I look like I have been attacked by a flesh-eating monster. One with suckers, like an octopus, but bigger and with little sharp nippers. One which loves thighs, tummies, hips and upper arms and doesn’t much care for other bodily areas.
I may have adjusted to the jabs, stopped crying, stopped dreading and generally pulled myself together, but now my body is staging another protest to the copaxone violation …. injection site reactions.
On some days my skin goes red, swollen and hot, in a big patch which spreads out around the puncture mark. And it itches. And is sore. Like when you scratch a mossie bite and it spreads into a big angry mess.
On other days the puncture mark turns into a knotted lump underneath the skin, which I have to massage to break down, make it disappear, to avoid my body turning into a lumpy bag of spanners.
On most days the skin around the puncture mark bruises. Sometimes a deep crimson bruise, like a capillary has burst and there is a pocket of blood trapped beneath the skin. Sometimes a big blue and yellow bruise, so much bigger than the area I have injected, sore as if I have banged myself hard.
These reactions last more than a few days but seem to have mostly disappeared by the time a week has passed by and I’m back to injecting the same area again.
It’s true that the monster bites are mostly hidden, that no one can really see them (luckily I don’t make a habit of running around naked). But I can see them and do see them everyday, and quite frankly they make me feel like a right rotter. More of a rotter than I already feel for having to inject myself in the first place. And self-conscious. Like people would be alarmed if they saw them. And ask whatever had I done …
The monster bites are very time consuming too. My usual post-shower-moiserisation is no longer that simple. I now have a series of products for application depending upon the reaction – arnica gel, calamine lotion, bio oil, a cream to smooth out orange-peel skin … it’s a wonder my clothes don’t just slide off, the amount of stuff I am rubbing into myself. Plus all this extra skin care is bad news for someone whose routine already takes far too long …
Perhaps reassuringly all these things are common side effects with copaxone, mainly because it is man-made and injected daily. So it looks like the hot pants are going to be confined to the back of the wardrobe for a while longer. Mind you they always did chaff a bit. The flesh-eating-monster is welcome to them.